You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
