im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
