man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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