You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just pee around me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
