If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize