so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
