I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
