you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
