sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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