I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
