bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
