So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's just like the Real World with babies
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
