Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
