you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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