We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
