i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
