My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
