Umm I'm too high to move.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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