Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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