a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
