If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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