yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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