They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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