We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
