No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
