in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
