SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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