Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
