Will you blow on my dice?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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