My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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