oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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