she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
