Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
