You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
