I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
