Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
