The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
