You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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