You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
