Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
