in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
