I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
