so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
