Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
