i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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