so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i now understand why vodka
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