some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
