i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
