he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
