so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
