so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and she was petting her beer can
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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