I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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