He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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