Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
