dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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