maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
