I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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