My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
